From Sky Box Office: Stake Land Review

Though it cribs most of its best ideas from the cream of the post-apocalyptic genre, it does so in a way that is both compelling and exciting, creating a great apocalyptic atmosphere and bringing new life to a genre that is mostly ruled by the increasingly overplayed Zombie.

The Post-apocalyptic subgenre has seen rather a lot of attention in the recent decade, normally with a focus upon our undead friend. Even me, who loves everything Zombie, has grown to be slightly tired of what is now a tried and tested formula. Therefore when I heard of stake land, which attempted to switch out Mr Z. with a Vampire apocalypse, I was excited, though sceptical. Though my mind quickly jumped to visions of I am Legend (the novel), I quickly remembered I am Legend (the film), and lowered my expectations. What I was expecting wasn’t actually what I got, which was a nice surprise. What I was expecting was a pedal-to-the-metal throwaway apocalypse flick with lots of action, but little consequence. Rather what I got was a nicely balanced and well realised apocalyptic world with a personal touch which reminded me more of The Road, than say, Dawn of the Dead.

From the DVD Shelf: Hobo With a Shotgun Review

The ultimate homage to the low-budget exploitation thriller, Hobo with a Shotgun is a cacophony of blood, gore, and violence...though little else.

Hobo with a Shotgun is one of those films you take interest in purely because of its name. With a name like that, you pretty much know precisely what it’s going to be, and in that respect, it doesn’t disappoint. There are no minced words here, there’s a hobo, he has a shotgun, he uses said shotgun. Overall, I was rather excited to crack this badboy open and see the ridiculousness within. I was greeted with what I expected, joyfully low-budget violence with the tongue placed firmly within the cheek; by the end I felt that my stupidity quota had been filled for the day. That said, I came away not as totally satisfied as I would have hoped.

Johnny English: Reborn Review

Johnny English has returned! The question you got to ask yourself is, why?

When I heard that Johnny English was making his triumphant return to our cinemas, I didn’t really know how to feel. To me it always felt like one of those franchises that never got off the ground, a film that has some good points but had by this point been generally written off as simply ‘mediocre’, despite its genuinely good cast. I didn’t really think that anyone thought back on it that fondly, or felt as if a sequel was warranted, nor that it made enough money to require one of those awful ‘just for the cash’ sequels that we all love so much. So what is Johnny English Reborn? A Reboot? Kicking an already Dead Horse? Or was did Rowen just feel like giving it another go? Well who knows, and in the end it doesn’t matter all that much. Despite the time gap, we have another film which is essentially of the same mould, with many of the same laughs (or similar types of laughs at least) and another story which in the end is just a vehicle for Rowen’s funny Mr Bean-like antics. It’s as if the last eight years never happened!

From the DVD Shelf: Mega Shark Vs Crocosaurus Review

Probably as low budget as you could probably ever get without breaching some kind of law, Asylum Film Studio’s brings us another mockbuster classic asking the pertinent question, who would win in a fight, a big shark, or a big crocodile? By the end of the film, you may have lost the will to live. I certainly had.

Asylum film studios are well known for their terrible direct to DVD releases, many of which rip directly from new releases in an attempt to make some quick cash. Let us not forget the Mockbuster classics that were ‘Sunday School Musical’, ‘Transmorphers’ and ‘Snakes on a Train’ (yeah, really). Alongside these examples of flagrant disregard for copy write law, Asylum has also created (I use that word loosely) a series of monster flicks, such as Mega Piranha, and most famously Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus. Well now the Mega Shark has returned, but this time, he is facing off against a different, but luckily equally sized foe, the Crocosaurus (which, if you didn’t guess, is just a huge crocodile).

Super 8 Review

E.T for a new generation? Not really, but it’s still that summer blockbuster that we have been waiting for with all the charm of a coming of age story, with the action that movie goers of today have come to expect. Anyway, E.T. never had an exploding trains in it, so suck it Spielberg!

I don’t know what I was expecting. O.K. maybe I do know, an E.T for the new generation, or perhaps another Goonies, but with aliens. Well Super 8 isn’t really any of those things, but it certainly plays homage to that now seemingly passed age of cinema that those films represented, when a group of kids can have an innocent adventure, save the world, and be home in time for tea. It is certainly trying to evoke the same vibes, even setting itself within the same time period into which those films were created, evoking all the same 80’s vibes. It would be wrong to suggest that super 8 is nothing more than this though, and it has levels of intrigue and action which far surpasses these contemporaries of genre, even if the story elements aren’t as perfectly constructed.

The Rise of the Planet of the Apes Review

Been on holiday, that's why I haven't written anything. It's definitely not because I'm really, really, lazy...

Stunning special effects and a great cast projects this prequel to the Planet of the Apes saga from a simple money spinner into something that is entertaining, heartfelt and even somewhat believable.

When I heard that a ‘prequel’ to the Planet of the Apes, a series which I don’t really hold any affinity for thanks to a rather poor effort by a one Mr Tim Burton, I was sceptical. How do you portray the world being overrun by apes (a seemingly ludicrous premise) without it seeming ridiculous? Well apparently Director Rupert Wyatt had the answer, and I have to admit, I was wrong. It is possible, and I never thought I would ever say this: I’m excited about where this long running series is going to go next.

Super Review

Some of the plot decisions may seems rather strange and the humour may not be as forthcoming as expected considering the cast, but for what it is, Super is an entertaining movie, though probably one that might have seemed a little more original if it had come out before Kick-Ass.

Super heroes are dumb. Yeah that’s right, they are. Admit it, dudes (or ladies!) running around in spandex fighting crime, at its core, is a silly concept, no matter how well Christopher Nolan can make Batman films. Super fully embraces this silliness and bring us a super hero film along the same lines as Kick-Ass (though possibly even more down to earth), demonstrating that in the real world being a super hero would be far from its cartoonish depiction. Not all suave acrobatics, witty one liners and glitzy costumes, more likely rampant violence, murder, and a warped sense of justice by those with some definite emotional issues.

From the DVD Shelf: La Horde Review

Edit: If you think about it...this could be a lost sequel to 28 weeks later. O' God don't I wish that it was!

La Horde doesn’t do anything special to the already saturated Zombie film market, that said, the action and special effects are good enough to make it enjoyable; it’s also French.

I have always thought that Zombies, and the Zombie Apocalypse (which is soon to come!) are always good subject matter for films. That said, there sure have been a lot of things with Zombies in over the past decade. Not only in films, but in books and in games as well. Perhaps this has led to some heightened Zombie saturation which makes it difficult for the more standard Zombie Genre films to stand out. That said, there is still room for the unique Zombie horror to stand up above the rest. La Horde certainly isn’t that film. It doesn’t really do anything new with the Zombie format, in reasons for their appearance or in attributes. Nor does its story focus on anything else enough to make it unique in that respect. It is truly your most standard of standard Zombie films. That said though, this doesn’t mean that it isn’t in some ways enjoyable. Afterall I presume many will be coming to this film, not for some new zombie innovations, nor for plot or character development, but rather to see some hardcore zombie killing action – and there sure is some hardcore Zombie killing action.

From Sky Box Office: Drive Angry Review

It might not be the crazy unhinged performance that fans of Nicolas Cage were hoping for, but for what it is, it is still an enjoyable low maintenance action film, if one that tries a little too hard to be intentionally dumb.

Dumb films can be fun, and I’m the first to embrace something that throws reality out the window and focuses on ridiculous onscreen antics. Drive Angry certainly attempts to be just this, mimicking the grindhouse/exploitation genre with all its blood, guts, naked ladies, fast cars and ridiculous over the top action. Sadly for Drive Angry, some of this total over the top-ness felt somewhat forced and somewhat at odds with other more serious aspects of the film. It is just trying too hard to be over the top, that in the end, it is dumb, but with little of the enjoyment that comes with that. That said, there is probably enough action (and just enough nakedness) to keep you from considering this question too deeply, that is until the credits roll.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon Review

You may have thought that the transformers series could simply not get any worse after Revenge of the Fallen. Boy did you think wrong...

He did it again. Michael Bay tricked me into hoping, just that tiny hope, that the new Transformers film wouldn’t but another total steaming pile of trash. That first teaser trailer was actually rather exciting and my eyes boggled at the possibilities of distorting something as cool as the moon landing into the transformers fiction. And do you know what Michael Bay does with all that potential? Absolutely nothing. Instead he brings us another Transformers movie, one that is even worse than those previous films in the series, a feat seemingly unimaginable. So now I’m going to write a review, detailing all the things I hated about Transformers: Dark of the Moon, and you are free to read that, or, if you do not have the time, you could just read this sentence and get on with your lives: Do Not Go And See Transformers: Dark of the Moon – It is simply, irredeemably awful.

13 Assassins Review

To state that 13 assassins is nothing but a poor man Seven Samurai is to sell it totally short. It may not be as original or as well scripted as Kurosawa’s samurai epic, but what it lacks in originality, it makes up in pure intensity and passion. A must see.

Not knowing anything about a film before you go into it is always a pleasure (a fact I reflect on rather ironically as someone who reviews films for others...) Going into 13 assassins, I expected something totally different than what I got; a throw away action film with some samurai trimmings, akin to many other recent samurai based films. Instead what I got was a serious drama, one that takes it source material with upmost respect and discipline, but one that does so with such pure passion, that it simply can’t be over looked. If nothing else, it praises the work of Kurosawa’s most famous film to the greatest extent.

The Green Lantern Review

After watching The Green Lantern I feel like I’ve got a good knowledge of the Green Lantern universe and the origins of the man in the green suit – sadly I didn’t have much fun in the process.

First off, I’d like to say that I know absolutely nothing about the Green lantern, apart from the fact that he is green (...and a lantern..?) so for me at least, director Martin Campbell and the mountain of Screen writers who worked on the Green lantern, could have done whatever they wanted to distort the Green Lantern fiction to make it an interesting, or at least entertaining, film. Instead what they gave us was a rather generic super-hero flick which is so full of back-story and explanatory dialogue explaining what the hell is actually going on that it seems he forgot to put in the fun parts. In essence, I feel like the Green Lantern is just trying to do far too much, so much that it fails on its basic principle of being an entertaining film.

From Sky Box Office: The Green Hornet

The Green Hornet is a pretty decent action flick, but apart from that it isn't really anything to write home about. That said, it could have been a lot worse.

Ever heard of the Green Hornet before? No? Well neither had I, and I suspect not many other people would remember this one time comic and radio series from the 30’s to 50’s and television series from the 60’s. Don’t fear though, you don’t have to know the lineage to understand this latest Green Hornet comeback – He’s a vigilante, he has a cool car, stuff explodes. It doesn’t really get simpler than that and in the end its main flaw is that it doesn’t do much to break free from this simple mould.

Attack the Block Review

It’s like Kidulthood meets Alien, in all the best possible ways, you get me fam?

Aliens are cool right? It’s been a while since aliens have come to Britain, let alone London (unless you count Doctor Who), and I was looking forward to what Joe Cornish, in his debut feature length film, had in mind for this urban invasion, I was hoping for high octane action and rich London slang; Attack the Block supplies both by the bucket load.

From the DVD Shelf: Machete

Dumb with a capital D, but in all the best ways; If you like your films fast, gory and ridiculous, don’t look any further than Machete.

Machete has strange origins, originating as a 2 minute fake trailer for Robert Rodriguez’s Quentin Tarentino’s film, Grindhouse. If you’ve seen the trailer in all its generic ridiculous action movie-ness, you may well doubt the possibly of turning the idea of a machete wielding Mexican into something resembling a full length feature. Well Rodriguez not only manages this, but he manages this with some style.

From the DVD Shelf: The Warrior’s Way

Ninja's fighting Cowboys is always good, right? ...WRONG!

The trailer for Warrior’s Way lied to you. It promised pedal-to-the-metal guns blazing craziness and little else. Sadly, for every ridiculous fight sequence, there are a hundred truly awful moments, mainly due to an over use of CGI and some terrible acting, dialogue and plotting.

From the DVD Shelf: Season of the Witch

Nicolas Cage: the first crusader with an American accent. Oh and Hell Boy is there too.

Not many films deal effectively with the medieval period, most normally distorting it out of context horribly by relying upon worn out historical stereotypes to get them along – witches, the Black Death, the Crusades, Mud filled towns, Rain – all that jazz. Well Season of the Witch is pretty much precisely one of those films. Boy are there historical inaccuracies (don’t even get me started! – as someone who likes the crusades...I think I nearly cried) and these probably can be forgiven, I mean it never promises to be the next Braveheart, but the lack of exciting action, rather poor pacing and more often than not silly and dull dialogue, means it doesn’t even really deliver on the whole ‘fun’ part of dumb historical (ish) action movies of this type either.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Review

Jack is back! but sadly not with much of a bang.

With the emergence of the character of Jack Sparrow as the somewhat unlikely star of the first film in the Pirates of the Caribbean series, the second and third film in the oddly mangled ‘trilogy’ saw Orlando Bloom somewhat sidelined, with Jack taking a more central role as Disney affected the slogan ‘Jack Is Back’. Now 8 years after the original and 4 years after the previous film, Disney have taken this to its fullest, removing those previously central characters entirely and turning the pirates of the Caribbean franchise into one solely dominated by the be-loved Jack Sparrow in a hope to save the now floundering series; Sadly though, it is clear that even the Jack Sparrow cannot alone save this sinking ship alone.

From Sky Box Office: The Devil's Tomb

So I’ve been gone for a while, getting all that university business out of the way. But now I’m back! (Waits for applause)...to review more great (...) films!

The Devil’s Tomb is an alright ride, but is almost instantly forgettable – remembered only for average acting and sometimes laughably bad special and physical effects.

I don’t watch too many straight-to-DVD releases, and you can probably guess why: they normally always suck (if they were any good they would come out in the cinema...right?). Coming into Devil’s Tomb I had no idea about its direct to DVD origins, but by the end I had my suspicions, which tells you a little of what you are going to get if you get round to watching this ‘action horror’ flick.

Sucker Punch Review

It has some great ideas and some equally great actions sequences, but ultimately Sucker Punch is held back by a poorly implemented plot and equally poor acting. That said, if you like hot ladies, you'll probably enjoy this.

Sucker Punch is a strange film, mainly because I can’t really gauge what kind of film it is. Everything about the marketing for it portrayed a straight action film, but in the end it is much more than that, and not always in a good way.