£3 Film: Colin

I’ve always wondered why some films are so cheap, are they absolute bargains, or low in price for a definite reason? Well now I’m going to be finding out. Each Week I will be finding and writing reviews for films around the £3 price mark (although they could be cheaper than this) to see if they are any good. I will generally be attempting to pick films which are lesser known, (reviewing a cheap film that everyone has probably already seen doesn’t seem interesting) and hopefully I will find some gems, among what I expect will be mostly rough. Well without further ado…Colin!

An interesting premise and an applaudably low budget does not save this zombie film’s bland story and uninteresting characters.

2008’s Colin always seemed interesting to me. Being a fan of all things Zombie it always seemed silly that nobody had thought of making a film from a Zombies perspective, and that is precisely what Colin attempts to do, taking the predictable and beginning-to-wear-out formula of the Zombie apocalypse and attempting to portray it from a unique perspective.

Clearly the plot sticks closely to this one sentence mantra. Our story picks up with ‘Colin’ (although the character is never explicitly named), who, after already receiving a fatal bite, soon turns Zombie. From this point on, the meat of the films generally consists ‘Colin’ wandering around the neighbourhood, witnessing the demise of the locals, and in some cases aiding in these acts. These slower moments are contrasted, sometimes jarringly, with larger scuffles between groups of survivors and their undead foes. The majority of these seem rather unnecessary, some, most notably the scene that sees a number of identified survivors facing off (badly) against even more unidentified undead within a large house, do not even feature Colin himself. While these moments, while adding to the meagre pace of the film, are hampered by incredibly bad shaky cam and claustrophobic close up shots, which, although obviously attempt to put the viewer right into the action, make it almost impossible to make out what is going on. Furthermore, though filled with gallons of blood and gore, these action sequences rarely excite, mostly because there is no reason at all for the viewer to care for these soon to be doomed survivors. They appear on the screen already up to their eyeballs in zombies, and are dead within a few minutes.

This sequence of wandering Colin and jarring action persists for much of the film, and in the end there is little real context to the majority of it. The plot finally picks up when we meet Colin’s sister, although this is brought to a quick close. While most of the drama here, due to the fact that we are mostly lumbered with the zombified Colin, is carried out behind windows or doors, or heard through the wall, and consequently has little real impact. Again then, we return to the same formula, trudging and bewildered Colin, followed by an act of violence on the part of survivors, followed by a rather weak flash-back finish, which jarringly leaves the zombified Colin without a second glance. The plot then is incredibly weak, if not really present at all; there is no real attempt to put in even the slightest hint of a jump scare or anything of that nature, nor humour, nor really much of anything.

Clearly one the films strongest aims was too attempt to goad the viewer into pitying poor Colin. This works to an extend, but like those soon to be dead survivors from the numerous action sequences, there is little reason for the viewer to care about Colin either. There is little back-story given for him, and he is already doomed within the first few minutes so there is no real chance for the viewer to build up any attachment towards him before he is shuffling and brain-dead. The only context for Colins previous adventures prior to Zombification comes right at the end of the film, and although this does in some way humanize Colin, this comes far too late, with over an hour of meaningless shuffling behind it. Clearly if such a humanization had come earlier, there may have been a greater sympathy for Colins fate.

Evidently the main problem of this film is that the Zombie genre’s main hook comes from the will they-won’t they survive mentality; the rush for survival normally both increases the tension, and pushes the viewer to sympathise with the survivor/survivors. Evidently the nature of the premise means that this is quickly done away with in Colin, and what we are left with is a film that has a great idea behind it, but nothing really to push that idea forward. Hence although, Alastair Kirton’s portrayal as Colin is good, it is heavily limited and he has almost no dialogue (apart from the odd Zombie groan). In general his performance is no better than the countless moaning undead extras.

Obviously one the largest taglines for the Film is that it was made on a £45 budget. Now anyone who can make a 90-minute film for that amount of cash surely deserves some praise. The zombie makeup is excellent, and the deaths, though filed to the brim with fake blood and intestines, are nothing worse than you have been in any other Zombie movie. Obviously though, the sets are limited and there is a distinct lack of wider, outdoor shots, with most the action taking place in the confinement of what looks suspiciously like student housing (I should know!), while the camera quality is sometimes evidently poor. Meanwhile, where there are wider shots, they are hampered by poor CGI smoke and fire, and for the most part the film relies heavily upon the continuous sound of far off gun fire to remind you that there is actually a wider apocalypse going on, though we see none of that action ourselves.

In the end then, ‘Colin’ seems to be made solely on the basis of an interesting quirk, with no substance to back it up. Evidently to reason that nobody had ever made a film from the Zombies perspective is because ultimately a zombie’s world is rather dull. That said, maybe I'm being overly harsh, but really I was expecting much more from this due to the praise it has received. Clearly, for what it is and how it was made it should be applauded, but sadly though, there is little reason to watch this over any other of the myriad of far better Zombie horror flicks out there.